Another quality of makjangs are the constant flashbacks. A show so long and complicated requires constant reminding of that one time when this one person said this one thing and it has been entirely irrelevant until this moment.
I feel like I am in the middle of a flashback right now–a LOST level time warp. After a long day at my old campus, I walked the road that I haven’t walked since I dragged my suitcases 11 months ago. It isn’t that far, it’s just 20 minutes in the opposite direction–I had no reason to come this way when I lived in my tiny craphole apartment.
There’s the flower coffee shop that I actually never ended up going to.
Oh and here’s my very first 7/11 where I drank my very first banana milk. The first of hundreds and hundreds–in multiple countries.
I’m wearing my giant wool coat because it’s finally cold. It hasn’t been cold since February–when I got here. And I’m wearing my dress pants which I haven’t worn in months either because it hasn’t been very cold. And I’ve gotten lazy.
I walked into the J-Motel in the darkness–the very first love motel I stayed at–and picked up the keys. Thankfully desk man must have been waiting for me because I didn’t have to say anything he just gave me the keys.
I went to my room, 3 down from the one I stayed in, and everything looks exactly the same. The queen bed with sparse blankets, cheap large screen television, water cooler, and complimentary tea packets.
Everything is the same. But I am so different.
Looking in the mirror–I see that my hair is a lot longer. My bangs are entirely grown out. Should I get them cut? Bangs aren’t nearly as annoying in winter as they are in the summer.
I find the ondol switch immediately and turn it on. Nothing quite like putting your feet down on a warm floor in the cold morning.
I put my phone to charge in a plug that is for some reason high up on the wall. I don’t have to worry about a giant adapter falling on me in the middle of the night–because I have a Korean charger.
Ohhh the numbers 90 & 92 and a bunch of korean on a scrap of paper above the television is telling me what channels to avoid if I’m with children. If you catch my jist.
I grab the remote from next to the television and flip it to the music channel and what’s playing but the carefully selected theme song I had for this week. Infinite’s Bad. And not just a performance on a music show–a performance from their concert. A concert that I was at.
And that’s when I really slipped into the time warp.
Present me was living past me’s life, watching a future me that is actually still a past me.
I remembered sitting here, thinking what if. What if I got to see them live before I left Korea. How amazing would that be?
People–I saw them perform Bad three times in the past two days (a pre recording and a live at music core, and then yesterday at the SBS gayos–a post that will come soon). Not to mention all of the festivals I’ve been too–and yes, this exact solo concert. I’ve seen this song performed so many times I can’t count. No actually–all the times I get confused in my head so I’m not entirely sure. But it’s a lot.
11 months ago when I sat here I didn’t have any friends. I didn’t know anyone except for this Starcraft kid a few doors down, who I actually never ended up seeing again. Now I have 5 good friends to count on, and dozens of acquaintances.
My life is a makjang not only because of the overly dramatic plot line and well timed dialogue, but because–I am in the middle of a flashback.